A little (a lot) about our family

In May of 2001, I was a little down around Mothers Day. For some reason hitting 40 years old and near Mothers Day, it hit me that being a mother wasn't apparently meant to be. I had already been through all of the infertility issues years back in the mid 80's which never worked. Of course that was in the early days of invitro, when the success rate was in the 15% area.

At any rate, I talked to Mike about adoption later in the summer while we were at dinner. I think I completely through him through a loop. He just sat there with his mouth hanging open. When we were at church (We go to Southeast Christian) one morning, I pointed out a mission trip to an orphange in Ukraine. Later he asked me to call church to see if they knew the person to call regarding adoption. We had seen Kathy Drane some time back telling her story about her adoption of her little girl. The receptionist knew exactly who I was talking about and gave me her telephone number. I called and found out there was an information meeting coming up in late July 2001.

Mike and I went to the meeting and listened to the information they had to give us. She had a brochure from the home study office and asked if anyone needed it. Mike raised his hand. That is where it all began.

The process started off quick it seemed and then slowed down. It took 14 months of paperwork, waiting, paperwork,waiting. In May 2002 we thought we had a travel time, but it was changed. Of course this was all after 9-11 too. So family was starting to get nervous about us traveling to begin with. It happens that our travel date ended up being Sept 16,2002. We had a one week notice. This was a time to pack two 70# suitcases with clothes for a month, gifts, etc. But we were only to take 1 dress outfit, 1 pair of jeans and 1 pair of sweats or something comfortable. No reason for a bunch of makeup, etc. So lots of socks, underwear, gifts and foods were what we packed. Yes, we wore the same outfits over and over again. But the weather was great, so that made it work out better. We were able to travel with the Bellucci's which was great. They had been there several years before.

Two weeks went by of looking at the same binders over and over. They kept telling us that the children in there were the only ones available. Later they told us there was only one 13 year old boy available. Our "hearts desire" was a girl and boy 18 mo old or younger. We had the bedrooms all set up for that. The AC finally decided to close because they were trying to make some staff changes. There was a lot of coruption there and they were trying to straighten it out.

While they were closed, our facilitator asked if we'd be interested in going to the hospital. She knew the pediatrician there. We got there and really saw what the conditions were like. The smell as you entered was sickening. The mold was growing around the base of the floors. The paint was peeling something terrible. The rooms had multiple beds in them. If it was older children, they were all huddled in the corner of their bed. Many times they were sent there because there was no where for them to go. This tended to be a holding area for children being processed or waiting to be processed into the orphanage system.

The very small children just laid in cribs. Peeling metal cribs. There was one 18 month old girl in a bed that I picked up. She had big brown eyes and was bundled like it was 15 degrees. But she wasn't available because no one had processed her into the system. That was so sad. A year and a half and nothing. She could go to nowhere. At that point we all decided that while we were waiting for them to re-open, why don't we do something. So we decided to work at an orphanage and got on the phone to call Kathy and the others to find out what can be done in the future. They now have a ministry called Hopeful Hearts Foundation. This has become a great ministry. They have raised so much money to help the other orphans who aren't going to find families. Please go to their website and see for yourself what they have done and what you can do to help.

Within a day or so the facilitator got a call that the Bellucci's and us could come into the AC while they were closed. Within 24 hours we were all headed out in two different directions to look at children. We were headed to Donetsk, Ukraine. We took a train at 8pm on Oct 2 and arrived at 8am on Oct 3. The ride was not uneventful. Well for us it wasn't. I guess for a Ukrainian that takes them often, it was fine. The restrooms on a train are absolutely disgusting. How nice can they be when you have to stand over a toilet on a moving train and keep your balance. Not to many people hit it very well, if you get the idea. Olga went with us as a facilitator. We got to the orphanage quickly and of course the director was out until noon. So we had to come back later.

When we met with the director he authorized the workers to bring the children out. They brought out Sydnee (Olga) and all we could see was how tiny she was and her light blue eyes. Then Simon (Sasha). All I could see was his big brown eyes and "how large his head was". The director told us to return the following day with our decision. Did we really need to wait that long? We just kept thinking if there is such a shortage of children, what if someone else comes along sooner. But they weren't going to let that happen.

We started the process of getting a court date. Everything went very quickly. We saw them on Oct 3 and on Oct 7, we were parents and approved by the court. They waived our waiting period of 10 days too. So that was great. The facilitator had told the judge that both kids needed to be seen quickly for their "heart conditions". They both had murmers. Sydnee was Hep B+ and was pretty healthy.

We went back to Kiev after finishing paperwork in Donetsk City. They got their physical there and then we headed to Warsaw. We got their visas there and then headed home. If you want the details (which are quite interesting), you will have to see our travel album. Grandmother Logsdon printed off every email we had sent back and forth. That was nice to have. You don't remember everything until you read them. So they are interesting for us to see.

We arrived back home on October 12, 2002. There was quite a reception from friends and family at the airport. That was great to see. We were so tired. The kids didn't sleep a wink on a 17 hour ride on multiple airplanes. Paul McCrorey had interviewed people there waiting and made a tape for us. The kids love to watch it over and over, even today.

Our friends and neighbors had a warm pot of chili on our stove, balloons and flowers decorated our house and 2 huge storks in our front yard with many balloons adorning our front yard. Gifts arrived shortly after that when people knew what they were buying for.

Within a couple of months both kids started therapy through First Steps. They both got occupational therapy, speech therapy, and developmental intervention. Sydnee got physical therapy and a nutritionist. She was extremely underweight. She was 15# and Simon was 20#. They were about an inch different in height. When age 3, they phased out of First Steps. But continued with PT, OT and speech. As of now, they are still both in OT, but out of speech and PT. We use Childrens Therapy Center in Jeffersontown.

Within the first year, we realized there were some issues with Simon being very aggressive. It didn't seem to be the normal toddler behavior. So we just watched and asked advice on how to handle it. We knew small children can get very jealous or not want to share, etc. But this seemed beyond the average behavior. We talked to other adoptive parents with similar issues and got recommendations to some therapists that may be able to help. As of now, Simon is 7 years old. We finally found help at Cincinnati Chilrens Hospital. We went through the International Adoption Clinic there. I would recommend this hospital to everyone I know who has special needs of any kind. They are so up to date on new procedures and know exactly what to do with everything I have run into. We had been to multiple doctors here in Louisville who all said they worked with adopted children, but not one of them here locally could tell us what was going on other than defiant behavior. Well, we already knew that, we just needed to figure out what to do to help. He currently sees Chandra Pester for RAD and was seeing Dr. Pamela Campbell for meds until Oct 1. She has decided to head to St

Dr. Campbell and Simon on their last visit before she moves to St Louis

Louis to be closer to her family. I really liked her. Very easy to work with and would sit with Simon and tell jokes back and forth. He will be seeing Dr. Johnson now. He meets with him in November for a checkup.

After several years of multiple tests, analysis, etc, we find that Simon has 1) ARND; Alcohol Related Neurodevelopmental Disorder 2) Impulse Control Disorder 3) SID; Sensory Integration Disorder 4) RAD; Reactive Attachment Disorder 5) PDD NOS; Pervasive Developmental Disorder not otherwise specified. We have finally found a combination of medications that help quite a bit, but with him growing constantly it seems that it is never perfect. But nothing will ever be perfect, so you just learn how to handle the difficulties. There are a lot of things I have learned over the last year that help ward off things you can see coming. You just learn to see things before they erupt. Some people probably think I am nuts at times, but I just have to get over the fact that people who don't know this child, don't have a clue. There has been a lot of progress. He is doing better in school this year. Although he did well last year as well. We just couldn't afford to send him there again due to the costs. AIE is working well and the principal is willing to work hard with him. So that means a lot. Simon seems to have a lot of respect for him. That matters!

Sydnee had Hep B when we got home. Her new pediatrician had it confirmed with a lab test. It hit me hard because other children that had been considered positive while in UA always ended up negative after getting home. So I thought it would be the same thing. I remember sitting in the kitchen with my friend Sonja when the doctor called with the confirmation. I was getting ready to go to the grocery and she was going to watch the kids. But when we got the news, she just gave me a big hug and said "get'em packed, we're all going to the grocery". We were referred to a specialist (Dr. Thomas Stephen). He didn't want to do anything at the time because Sydnee wasn't sick yet. After a couple of months, I decided I didn't like that answer. So I looked up the HepB Foundation in KY. They referred me to Earl Robbins in Lexington. He wasn't a pediatritian,but he specialized in liver disease. He checked her labs and agreed that we could try to treat and see how it goes. He also did a liver biopsy to find what stage her liver disease was in. She was a Stage 1 which was great. He was part of a study for Hepsera, so he wanted to try that. She did well in the beginning, but after her numbers started to decrease, she started having side effect of regression. She was having a very hard time walking up stairs, started crawling, etc. She would get very upset when she didn't have the strength to do it. Her meds were decreased, but then she started showing signs of lactic acidosis (too much CO2 in her blood). So she was taken off of it and referred to Childrens in Cinci. That is actually how we got started going there to begin with. We were so impressed at how they ran things up there. She saw Dr. Bukavalas (who we love). She got to stay at the Ronald McDonald house which she was thoroughly impressed with. Although the minute we walked up the steps and she spotted the Ronald McDonald statue on the bench, she was absolutely hysterical. I don't mean the funny hysterical either. She was screaming bloody murder and I didn't think I was going to be able to get her inside. Jennifer Willoughby was his nurse, who we adored as well. She was always there for a phone call and very helpful.

As of October 2008 Sydnee no longer has Hep B. She went on a 6 month treatment with Interferon Alpha 2B. This was a very potent drug, but she did very well. She was only 4 when she started the treatments. They consisted of injections 3 days a week. After the injection she would spike a fever of 103-105.5. At times it got very scary. In the first week she was vomiting, lathargic,etc. It was very sad. When she was sick like this, our dog Nakina would just lay with her. I would bring her crib mattress into the living room so we could keep a close eye on her. They preferred us to treat fevers with ice as much as possible. We had more ice packs that the normal family should have in their freezer. We would put them in her groin area and under her arms. They worked faster that way. At the time, our days, weeks and months revolved around her being sick or having high fevers. We had have ice available no matter where we were. She could even tell as soon as the temperature started to rise.

It has taken her body nearly 3 years to push this disease through. Each time labs were done, the numbers would be down more and more. I had no idea it would take that long to finish out. But slow is better than nothing. We are just thrilled it's gone. She is too. We always called it "Sick Blood". She had always been a fighter and nothing keeps her down. We have our official letter from the doctor and got calls from Dr. Bukavalas and Dr. Robbins with happy hearts. They were both thrilled. We plan to frame the letter.

Our newest thing with Sdynee is she now has Trichotillomania (an Obcessive Compulsive Disorder) and Reactive Attachment Disorder. In the beginning they were hoping it was just a nervous thing. She was separated from Simon last year during school and then this year they are in the same school, but in separate classes. She seemed to stress over that. They fought like crazy when together, but when either of them are separated from the other, they are constantly asking about the other one. She didn't like homeschooling and wanted to go to a "real school".

They treated her on one medication, but it got worse instead of either holding it's own or lessening. So they have changed her to another one and I have seen slight progress. So pray this helps.

I first saw it when she was in a time out throwing a literal fit. During this, she pulled out a nice size clump of hair from her head. Come to find out she does this when she gets mad. But later we found that she did it nearly all the time. I have collected clumps of hair from her bedroom and the car. She also pulls her eyelashes out, hoards paper and garbage in her room (mainly under the bed). I can nearly fill a trash can with what I find in there every 4-5 days. She digs little holes around the yard like a squirrel would for burying his nuts, eats plastic, paper, dirt, chews on hair, etc. One thing we know she likes to do is to unravel the fine threads from a piece of ribbon and to pluck out the fine hairs from her webkins.

All I can say is thanks for the prayers so far and I just ask that you continue. There isn't a day that goes by that I don't pray for something for these kids. But I have also had many praises. For so much of a slow start, these two have come a long way. I have always said that they are still better off here than in Ukraine. They have learned so much and come a long way. They are so different, but so similar. They love each other even though they don't want to admit it. Anyone who is around them much knows that they are very attached and rely on each other a lot like twins.

Their first year of preschool was at Beulah Preschool in Fern Creek. It was nice, but the rooms were a little large for Simon. Sydnee seemed to do well other than the teachers arguing over who was going to get to hold her first. She was so tiny back then.

After that they went to Dorothy Sayers Classical School for two more years of preschool. I loved the program and the teacher they had was great. But later we saw that it may or may not work for Simon for Kindergarten. It was a very strict cottage school. It wasn't the academics, it was having to sit for so long and not step out of bounds. When he started Kindergarten it didn't last long.

That is when he started at Summit Academy in Middletown. They are wonderful with kids who have multiple special needs. I only got one phone call the entire school year. He was able to participate in the swim club after school, participated in the Christmas and Spring programs. We saw a huge difference in him.

Currently both kids go to The Academy of Individual Excellence. This is the same school RJ went to. It has been a good choice I think. We had always wanted to send them there, but early on, neither of them did well with large groups, so the pre-school was a bit large. But now in first grade, the class is much smaller. The principal is wonderful. He has so much patience. He just keeps telling us, not to worry because Simon will get used to new rules and that he is willing to keep working with him for however long it takes. Mr Savage knows what these kids need. He seems to tell me the same things I am always getting ready to tell him. We have found that there is quite a population of Ukrainian children there this year. Both kids get of the car in the morning happy and get in the car during carpool with a smile. This is huge for us! Sydnee's best friend in her class is from Ukraine. The funny thing is that we didn't

First Day of school on right.

Simon w/Ms Sherry on left

Sydnee w/Ms Tiffany below. Ms Tiffany is Ms Sherry's daughter.

know she was until we went to our Hopeful Hearts picnic and they ran into each other there. And then we find out that Simon's cub scout leaders adopted their son from the same region we went to. And he is in Simon's class.

They had their school fall festival this month and it was so much fun. They had a cake walk, bouncy things, petting zoo, etc. They kids loved it. It was nice to see them play with their friends and be able to walk around without being right under our wing (or was it the chickens wing?LOL).

It's not a real petting zoo without a chicken!

Sydnee is in her second year of American Heritage Girls (Sydnee is right in front of the flag) (not a very clear photo)

Sydnee had a classmate who invited her to her skating birthday party at Champs Rollerdome. So here are the results of the kids first time in a real skating rink.

Sydnee's first time on roller skates. You should have seen the bruises on this child. She had so many, they all ran together. But nothing slowed her down.

Sydnee's friend Olivia

Simon spent 99.9% of his time clinging to the carpeted walls.

and Simon is in his first year of cub scouts. Both are having a great time with it. They really need the social skills practice. And this gives them more practice than just school.

We have been in Mt Washington for 9 years now. We really like it out here. It is so quiet, but so close to everything at the same time. Mom moved out here a few years ago too, which I love. We are only a few minutes away. She has a pool now too, so the kids have enjoyed that during the summer. They are both water dogs in a major way. Both can swim well, even though I still keep a very close eye on them. This is the first summer that Sydnee passed a swim test with AHG, so I let her remove her life jacket even though she still can't touch the bottom without going completely under.

Mike is in his 13th year at Ford. Of course they have had their ups and downs, but thankfully with him being in maintenance, he stays pretty busy there. We have our scares now and then, but so far, so good.